Shopping for an engagement ring can be very intimidating and stressful. If you are reading this article, you are probably feeling ready to take you relationship to the next step and propose to your partner, or at least you are thinking about proposing and are looking for some information on the topic. Whichever, I am super excited for you and I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your beloved!!
There is a lot of information available on the internet concerning the purchase of engagement rings. Most of those articles have good quality information, but are sterile and repetitive. Having worked in the diamond industry for quite some time, I have been “on the other side” of the process and I would like to share some insiders information that is more useful than all of the other articles out there. I will put all of my knowledge into a clear and relatable article, so the whole process will be a little bit less stressful for you! I am also working on a blog post about diamonds and how to choose them – it will be up soon!
How to pick the perfect ring for your partner?
Nobody wants to buy a ring and put an enormous effort into a good proposal, only to find out that their partner doesn’t like the ring. If you are trying to decide on an engagement ring, I believe the style of the ring should reflect two things: first, the way you feel about your significant other should be perceivable in the choice of the ring. I don’t mean you should by the biggest diamond out there, I mean that the choice should be personal and your partner will feel that the decision was made with lots of thought (and love). Second, the ring you pick should also fit with the style that your partner likes. But how will you know what she or he likes?
It is true that most girls have thought about their wedding and engagement ring from their teen years. However, it is quite an overstatement to say that every girl wants a proposal, wants a wedding, wants an enormous ring. You know your partner best; you’ll know if she wants a small, discreet proposal or if she wants the whole big thing. Here are some tips for choosing just the right ring.
- Check her Pinterest account
I believe many, many women have an account on Pinterest. Basically, Pinterest is a digital platform for all sorts of things (food, crafts, home decor, weddings, fashion, kids). You can make a virtual mood board on Pinterest by pinning all of your favourite images. Go and take a look on her boards and check if she has pinned any images of wedding rings. This might give you a better idea of what she’s into. Also, I’m not encouraging you to snoop on her computer (AT ALL), but if she leaves her Pinterest account open, try to check it out. Chances are that she has a secret wedding board. Pinterest allows you to hide certain boards, so you can pin whatever you like without people seeing it. I know a few girls who are guilty of having a secret wedding board :). However, if you know that she’ll be uncomfortable with you going through her Pinterest account, just don’t do it – it’s not worth it.
- Go through her pictures and her wardrobe
If you are planning on going to a jewelry store to buy said engagement ring, print a few pictures of her to show to the salesperson – they will get a better idea of what kind of person your partner is. Go check out her Facebook account and look for her profile pictures. The profile pictures she put op on Facebook are probably pictures where she feels confident and beautiful about herself. How is she looking in those pictures? What is she wearing? These are little clues for you to use during the decision-making process.
Have a quick peek into her wardrobe and check out her outfits. What kind of clothes does she wear? Is everything girly? Is everything minimalistic? Vintage? Unique? Be inspired by her way of dressing.
Don’t be afraid to inject some of your own preferences into the decision-making. It will be a great surprise for your partner if you put a little bit of yourself into the final design of the ring. I remember the first time my partner bought me a pair of earrings: I could sense his love for me through the design he chose (I also got an enormous sunburn that day, which left me with freckles on my left shoulder that I have been carrying around for three years now).
- Pick the right size for the ring
Alright guys, now that you have more of an idea of what ring to go for, don’t forget one crucial step: pick the right size! You wouldn’t believe how many rings need to be adjusted or exchanged because of careless size picking.
Granted, it is not easy to take your partner’s hand and measuring their finger without them getting suspicious. So here are a few things you could do.
Left hand or right hand?
Depending on which hand your partner uses to write, the size of the finger will be different. Typically, the fingers on the hand you use to write with are slightly bigger because the muscles are more developed. So there is a difference between the right hand and the left hand; but I should also say that this isn’t always the case – some people have the same size on both hands.
So keep this in mind: on which hand will your partner wear the ring?
Measure a ring she wears often.
Pay attention to the jewelry she often wears: is there a ring she can’t live without?(also a clue for the style she’s into 😉 ) If there is a ring she regularly has on her hand, check if it fits her well (meaning not too tight and not too loose) and take it with you to the jeweler’s store where they will be able to measure the correct size.
Little tip here also: make sure the ring is round. The jeweller will only be able to measure correctly if the ring isn’t deformed.
Find a ringsizer online or get one at a store
Ringsizers are little useful tools in paper or plastic that allow you to measure the size of a finger. Google ‘free ring sizer’ to download a paper version, or order one online at a jewelry retailer.
- The bigger isn’t necessarily the better
There is this myth going around that the bigger the diamond, the more you love your partner. I don’t believe this to be true. There is no point in spending half a year’s worth of salary on a ring if this leaves you with a difficult start in your actual marriage. Your partner might even feel uncomfortable or unsafe to walk around with this giant rock on his or her hand.
Of course, it is absolutely up to you. If you want to buy a big ring, go for it! You should put a lot of thought into the decision-making, and if this is what fits you best, just go for it!
The bigger isn’t necessarily the better: there are many grades in the quality of a diamond. You might buy a very big diamond with a weak colour and lots of inclusions visible with the naked eye. But for the same amount of money, you could also buy a smaller diamond with a better colour, almost no inclusions and an excellent cut. What do you think? Take this into consideration.
- Look into different options
You might have noticed that there are lots of possibilities when it comes to engagement rings. You could choose to buy a ring that is ready and available in the store and save yourself some time. Maybe you inherited your mother’s ring and you plan on giving it to your future wife. If you do, make sure the ring has the right size or get it adjusted by a goldsmith.
You could buy a vintage ring and give her a unique engagement ring. A good tip for buying antique rings is to check that the diamonds or other stones are well set in their prongs and don’t move around.
You could buy a very classic, solitaire diamond ring if this is what your girl prefers. But you could also buy a designer ring with a different style to it – the possibilities are endless.
Another, lesser known option is the tailor-made ring: a ring made specifically for you, according to your desires, budget and style. This process takes more time, because you will have to sit down with the designer for a couple of times to discuss the overall look; approve of the design once it is made by the goldsmith, and finally actually waiting for the ring to be produced. This can vary from a couple of weeks to a couple of months. So definitely make sure you are well-informed about the production process and build in enough time for things to go wrong (can’t stress this enough 😉 ).
If you want to make the decision of the engagement ring very personal, you could engrave a special message into the wedding band. Most jewellers offer this service and have a few fonts you can choose from. Many people do engrave a message in their engagement ring (for example, I had my boyfriends name engraved in my diamond ring and I feel great about carrying him with me throughout the day).
- Don’t buy an engagement ring
If you have been shopping around, reading articles on the internet, if you have been discussing the choice of the ring with friends and family and you’re still unsure: don’t buy a ring. Go back with your partner and let them choose after the proposal. You could propose to your partner with a fake ring or with a giant candy ring and state very clearly that she gets to pick the ring herself. This is also a fun way to propose and it allows your partner to be completely free in the choice of the ring.
A final piece of advice would be not to rush the purchase. Even if you are buying an affordable ring, it will still be a considerable amount of money. Take your time to decide on a ring, go back a couple of times to the store if necessary. Don’t be afraid to ask questions to the salesperson. After all, you are only going to pick an engagement ring once 😉
I hope this article was helpful I am wishing you all the best of luck and lots of love with your partner! If you liked my article, make sure to pass the information on to your friends!