Sometimes, I have a day of feeling blue and wishing life were different. This happens when I encounter a series of set backs, or if I have an emotional day, and the repetition of bad moments add up. As I told you guys in my blog post about my Memory Boxes, I have been dealing with a burnout for the past year. This burnout came after working like an insane person for more than a year in a very stressful job that I’ve now quit.
Burnout is sneaky. Or at least, it was in my case. I knew I wasn’t happy in my job, and it provoked some tension at home as well since I was always in a bad mood. But I didn’t really see it coming at the full speed it actually hit me. The real low point was when I was at work, sitting in front of my computer, staring at the screen, and literally not being able to do anything. Not even move my arms. I couldn’t think clearly. I had already resigned and I was about to leave the job in a few weeks time, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I took the next day off. The following months were tough, there was the constant realisation that something was wrong, that I was not behaving like myself.
The thing about burnout, is that you will always feel down and tired. It will feel like there is no purpose and that the little joys of life never come around anymore. I know these words are very heavy to pronounce, but that’s what it feels like.
I have been trying to figure out ways to battle this sadness. To get over the bad feelings, to rise and shine every morning, to face the day. Because there were days that I would give myself credit for even getting out of bed. This has been my (luckily very happy) solution so far: I spoil myself. I do whatever I feel like doing: taking a bath, sitting in front of the tv and watch junk for hours on end. Baking cookies, shopping for bath products, going for a walk. Reading library books in bed with a cup of coffee. The clue is to not force yourself into anything. There were times that I would force myself into things like cooking, cleaning, ticking items off my to-do list just to feel in control again. The only problem, is that it made me feel more tired, or bad about myself if I did not complete the task.
And so, on an afternoon of heavy blues, I went to one of my favorite shops ans bought a jar with cookie batter. I also bought heart-shaped baking trays and pushed the cookie dough into it. Giant enormous delicious cookie as a result 🙂
It was nice to just use my hands and to finish a project that really wasn’t difficult. Just completing this simple task made me feel better about myself.
So my advice is: take one day at a time. If you feel you need to rest, take a nap, hide under the covers. Do you want to be entertained, watch your favourite tv-show. There is no need to push yourself to extremes, you have worked hard enough, you deserve some time off. Be kind to yourself. On a sidenote: be careful with alcohol, it can really affect you in a negative way if you’re burnt out.
Happy thoughts to all of you! There are some fabulous days ahead of us!