So today, I had kind of a crappy day.
I didn’t sleep very well last night and I was stressed out at work, because there is more work coming in than we’re able to handle right now. I was supposed to go to my evening class of goldsmithing, but I couldn’t muster the courage to do so after an eight-hour work day. That makes me feel stressed out too.
I get easily stressed. It’s one of my lesser qualities and I’ve been fighting this flaw my entire life. As I get (sort of) older, I can see that it gets easier for me to just say ‘F*** it’ and to let go. But I’m not gonna lie, even if I let go a little bit and give myself the opportunity to not go to the evening class, to not post the article I was supposed to post weeks ago already, to not give in and not stay at work until 8 ‘o clock at night, there is still this annoying gut feeling telling me I’m not doing enough.
I’ve had it with the stressed feelings and the stomach aches and the sleepless nights and what’s more. It’s ridiculous, right? I’m 26 years old, should I still be in this phase of stressing out over everything?
So I decided to stay home tonight. And I decided to make those bath bombs I’ve been planning on making for a while now. I took all the time I needed, it was great to use my hands on the soft material.
It chilled me down.
And while I was making my bath bombs, I was thinking: “Wow, I really never give up”. I just keep going. I’ve encountered many set backs in life, but I just keep on trying until everything feels right.
4th job since I’ve graduated university less than three years ago? No problem, finally found the right job. My current stress is just temporary, because I’m new and I don’t have a handle on things yet at my new workplace.
Fifth time making bath bombs? No problem, finally looks like they’ll keep it together and make my bath delicious.
Hundreds of arguments and fights with boyfriend ? No problem, no relationship is perfect, but we make each other happy and we understand each other.
Fifth attempt at making candles for the Christmas Challenge on the blog? Pffft. But I keep going, I’ll keep trying.
I’ve been so stressed out and insecure about myself in the past year, that it goes to my own detriment. But at the same time, I realise setbacks make me stronger, they teach me to keep going, that life is not easy, but when the beautiful and happy moments come around, they truly feel wonderful. I will never be able to shoot for the stars and make it on my first attempt. Life is like making crepes: the first two or three crepes always fail. But only after failing your first crepes, will you be able to make some great ones.
And this is the extent of my fabulous and deep crepe-and-bathbomb philosophy night.
Please, to all my dear readers, let’s fail together, because it’s the only way to succeed. No one and nothing will ever be perfect, and that’s okay!
These pictures are crappy and I don’t care! It’s how I feel anyway 🙂