When I was single, I used to hate Valentine’s Day. I was afraid that everyone would feel sorry for me, or that I would look like a loser because I was single yet again, just like last year, and all of my friends had gotten hitched in the meantime.
Well, let me tell you something: it doesn’t matter if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, and it doesn’t matter that you don’t have a date. Because guess what? Everyone is too busy thinking about only themselves on Valentine’s Day anyway. And you know what else? I have been in a relationship for 4 years now and Valentine’s Day is just like any other day: waking up at 7 a.m., taking a shower, getting dressed, rushing to the office, answering phone calls all day and then realising at about 16:30 in the afternoon that “Oh! It’s Valentine’s Day! :s.” You get my point.
We have never even celebrated Valentine’s Day as a couple.
And from what I hear, most couples don’t do it either. Because there is no fun in forced romance in a crowded restaurant after a long day in the office. There is also no appreciation in a gift that was bought just for the sake of Valentine’s Day.
Now, if you’re single, I can understand you are dreading the 14th of February, just as I did for many years. I realise I’m very, very lucky to have met my partner and I’m trying not to sound judgmental when I say you shouldn’t worry about being single on Valentine’s Day.
But I believe you can survive Valentine’s Day graciously by treating yourself the way you should be treated: get yourself a book/movie/glass of wine, and settle in at home with some candles and great music. Pamper yourself. Because right now, there is only one person of importance in your life, and that is you. Instead of spending negative energy on fearing what other people might be thinking of you, focus your energy on yourself. Yes, you are a wonderful person. So yes, you are going to spoil yourself. Yes, you deserve a good partner, and so no, you aren’t going to settle for someone who isn’t a good fit for you. (I mean it!)
Keep in mind that Valentine’s Day really isn’t that big a deal!
Now, if you are in a relationship, and you are keen on celebrating Valentine’s Day, but you don’t really know what to do, I would recommend to just spend time together. But try to really spend time together. And by this I mean, perhaps it’s a better idea to stay at home and cook dinner together, than to go to the movies or to a noisy restaurant. Try to be present in the moment, take the time to really talk to each other and to recalibrate. For example, last summer, we didn’t travel abroad for lack of money, so we tried to spend time together by doing fun things in our city. And it was great! Hands down one of our best summers together – just because we were present in the moment.
Be there for your partner. It is much more valuable to celebrate Valentine’s Day by just being together, than to spend money because you feel like you have to.
Oh hey! Here’s a super cute recipe for pink cupcakes – ideal for Valentine’s Day! 😉 (solo or duo)
There is no shame in being single on Valentine’s Day, and there is no shame in not celebrating V-Day as a couple. It does not determine who you are. You are all wonderful people and you deserve only the most beautiful kind of love.
I wish you all a lovely Valentine’s Day! Hugs and kisses from Christiaan & me.
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